A Discourse on Cereal

Overheard on the #29 bus:

- I thought you like' Trix.
- Man, you ain't never seen me buyin' no Trix. That shit's too mothafuckin' expensive.
- Yeah, so is that Rice Krispies and ain't nothin' in it.
- I like them Lucky Charms --
- Yee-ah! Had me a 32-ounce box of that, and nothin' else in the house but bowl and spoon and tha milk -- ate the whole damn thing and got so sick to my stom-ack.
- Fo'get the milk! I be sittin', watchin' TV and snackin' right out the box
- Captain Crunch is good for watchin' TV!
- I like them Lucky Charms --
- Marshmallows? Shee-yit yeah!
- They gotta bring mo' marshmallows back.
- How 'bout that Cookie Crisp?
- Thass okay. Don't taste like no chocolate chips though. Taste like Oreos. Like generic Oreos.
- Hy-drox! Mothafuckin' Hydrox.
- You had them chocolate Oreos? Those be good!
- This nigga's gonna go home and have me some cereal.

Silence for several blocks. Then:

- Don't get me wrong, I like me some oatmeal too.
- Yeeah! Oatmeal is hella good.

I thought the cereal conversation was going to cease at one point, when the bus stopped and this tight-sweatered brassy-Lorraine Bracco-style blonde got on, but apparently she was less interesting than cereal. After a moment she pulled her pack onto her lap, and started to reach inside for a textbook.

I closed my eyes and thought I bet a million dollars she's studying some kind
of pop-psychology crap. Opened my eyes. She's reading a lavender textbook with flowy script titling "Personality and Personal Growth". Bingo.

If I always had someone with me to take these bets, I'd be set. I could keep myself in mothafuckin' Trix for life.

Tuesday 18 June, 10:04 AM